Rejected but Not Dejected!
Sunday was a sad day. I'd been eagerly checking my emails and finally it landed. As soon as I opened it those dreaded words "we are sorry to inform you" told me everything I needed to know without reading the rest. The day before, I had taken four artworks to present to the Leicester Society of Artists (LSA) selection panel, having been shortlisted at the first stage.
I had been through this once before but if felt different this time. I was genuinely proud of my work. Last time I had sidled in feeling like an imposter. This time I chatted to the other talented artists - panel members and fellow applicants alike and was confident that my art is moving in the right direction. It is authentic, and from my heart and it expresses something unique to me. I know that it is not to everyone's taste but I also know that there are people out there it really speaks to.
Acceptance into the society requires a majority vote from the panel. Maybe some of the panel have a preference for more tradional painting methods and styles than mine or maybe they were irritated by tiny inconsistencies, like the fact that although they were all framed professionally, one of the images and frames was slightly smaller than the others (not an issue if purchased individually but an issue if curating as a series in an exhibition). One of the panels was painted both sides and I had chosen not to cover the backside because I felt it might be interesting for a buyer to see a rejected work on the back. To me, this makes the piece a bit quirky and interesting but to an assessing panel member it may have looked sloppy and unpolished. I had included my sketchbooks, which are not in any way examples of beautiful preparatory sketches and plans. They are scribbled doodles and musings and experiments. To me this has been an important part of my process over the last year but to someone looking for a highly skilled artist to add to their membership, they probably looked untidy and careless. It was a gamble to include them and on this occasion, it didn't pay off.
There is that normal human part of me that is gutted that they didn't welcome me into their world but there is another part of me that feels a little excited for myself. Excited that pleasing everyone is no longer a priority to me, excited that I am confident I might win them round eventually and excited about how the process of putting the application together gave me the chance to see how far my art has come in a couple of years. I like the quote I found above courtesy of Heather Hall Hypnotherapy. I'm pretty sure the younger version of myself would've been far more affected by this failed application so I'm feeling good about my increased resilience!
One of the things I noticed when I dropped my work off was that my entries were dwarfed compared to many of the others so working bigger will be an important part of my development this year. I also noticed just how professional and polished all the other entries were and I genuinely congratulate all those who were successful, especially Megan Hunter, who has such astonishing skill, it would have been a controversy if she had not been accepted! Take a look at her photorealistic portraits that are wonderfully autobiographical in their content.
Anyway, telling you I'm a failure this weekend may not be the best way to promote my own latest artworks but I feel that if I am going to use blogs and social media to share my personal journey as an artist, it is important to share the lows as well as the highs. And at the end of the day if there is someone out there who is going to fall in love with one of my artworks enough to buy it, my status as an LSA member or not will not affect that reaction. And as it turns out, just two days later, I have been offered an exhibition slot at a local gallery next year so there will be plenty of opportunities to show my work without needing to be a member of the LSA just yet. It might take me time but eventually I'll have such an impressive body of work they won't be able to justify saying no to me! There are more to come soon but I have held some back for now as submissions for exhibition and other memberships.
For my loyal supporters who have read this far, please do take a look at the three new artworks that I am adding to my shop to celebrate my growing self-belief. If you know any other art lovers/potential buyers, please do share this with them.
